Part 3 in a Study of Acts 20:18–38

In the first two parts of this series, we considered Paul’s final address to the Ephesian elders as a model for those of us who counsel biblically. Paul first pointed to his life: “You yourselves know how I lived among you…” Then he pointed to his ministry: he was compelled by the Spirit, committed to finishing the course he received from the Lord Jesus (at the expense, for example, of doing something he desired, like returning to Ephesus), and determined not to shrink from declaring the whole counsel of God.

Now, in Acts 20:28–31, Paul turns his attention directly to the elders themselves. He moves from his example and ministry, to the Ephesian elders’ responsibility(s). And, while Paul is speaking specifically to this group, biblical counselors should lean in closely here and heed Paul’s wise-counsel s it still contextually applies to our character, conduct, and general (ministry of the Word) responsibilities. 

Paul says:

“Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood. I know that after my departure fierce wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock; and from among your own selves will arise men speaking twisted things, to draw away the disciples after them. Therefore be alert, remembering that for three years I did not cease night or day to admonish every one with tears.”

This is strong language. Paul is not offering vague encouragement like, “Stay faithful out there, guys.” He is warning and charging them – putting intentional weight on their shoulders because the church is precious, the danger to it is real, and the work of ministry requires vigilance. For biblical counselors, this section gives us one of the clearest charges in the passage: pay careful attention.

Pay Careful Attention to Yourselves

Paul begins in a place we might not expect. He says, “Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock.” Notice the order. Before he says, “Watch the flock,” he says, “Watch yourselves.” That order is significant.

Biblical counselors should become quite skilled at paying attention to others. We listen for themes, categories, desires, fears, patterns, motives, excuses, suffering, sin, and self-deception. It is part of careful counseling. In Proverbs, the Bible goes so far as to teach us to draw out what is in the heart of a person. We should listen carefully, ask thoughtful questions, and seek to understand what is actually happening.

But, Paul says the counselor-shepherd must not only be skilled at watching others. He must first watch himself. The counselor who is not paying careful attention to himself is dangerous, even if he is doctrinally accurate. He may see everyone else’s anger while excusing his own irritation. Or he may confront fear of man in a counselee while being quietly controlled by the same thing. Maybe he speaks about humility while needing to win every disagreement. Or…he may call others to patient endurance while growing cynical, cold, or self-protective in ministry.

Biblical counselors spend a lot of time helping others examine their thoughts, desires, interpretations, and responses. Good. Great even! But we must not become professional examiners of everyone but ourselves. 

At best, that would be a form of ministry blindness. At its worse…it would be spiritually unsafe/unwise. So, we must pay careful attention to ourselves. Watch our doctrine, our motives, and our tone. We must be vigilant over our weariness, and guard against the need to be needed. We must watch our frustration when counselees move slowly, and the desire to be thought wise. We must use Scripture appropriately, and rightly measure ourselves against it first. We must guard our heart when someone does not thank us, agree with us, or come back for another meeting.

Before we guard others, we guard ourselves.

Pay Careful Attention to the Flock

Paul only then says to pay careful attention “to all the flock.” Again, he is speaking to elders, so we need to keep the immediate context in mind. These men were overseers, placed by the Holy Spirit to care for the church of God. But, the language also helps biblical counselors remember what kind of people are sitting in front of us.

They are not cases; not projects. They are not merely “the marriage couple,” “the anxious person,” “the angry husband,” “the bitter wife,” “the rebellious teenager,” “the codependent,” or “the addict.” Those descriptions may identify real struggles, but they do not define the person. Paul says this is “the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood.” That sentence should slow every biblical counselor down.

The people we counsel are blood-bought saints. If they are believers, they belong to Christ by redemption. If they are not believers, they are still image-bearers who need the mercy and truth of Christ. Either way, no person in front of us is a counseling problem to be solved and moved along as efficiently as possible. \

Christ died for His people! That means our care should be careful: not casual, mechanical, or merely content delivery. We counsel people who matter to God, and the measure of their worth is not their progress, pleasantness, maturity, or gratitude. The measure of their worth is the blood of Christ.

This also means biblical counseling must resist becoming overly problem-centered. Of course, people usually come because of problems. No one typically schedules counseling to say, “Things are going wonderfully, and I just wanted to give you an update.” That would be delightful, but also probably a very short meeting. People come because something is wrong, painful, confusing, sinful, stuck, or breaking. But if we only see the problem, we will not care for the person well. Paul does not say, “Pay careful attention to the issues.” He says, “Pay careful attention to the flock.” Biblical counseling is personal ministry. The Word is brought to people with names, histories, habits, bodies, minds, relationships, sorrows, responsibilities, and eternal souls.

The Holy Spirit Made You Overseers

Paul also reminds the elders that the Holy Spirit made them overseers. Their responsibility was not self-appointed. They did not merely have a leadership interest, a ministry instinct, or a strong personality. The Spirit of God had entrusted them with care for the people of God.

That is a necessary reminder for biblical counselors as well. Again, biblical counseling is not the same thing as eldership. But anyone who enters into intentional soul care should feel the weight of stewardship. We are not dabbling with ideas or merely offering religious advice; we’re not spiritual hobbyists with opinions and a Bible app. We are handling matters of worship, obedience, suffering, sin, repentance, faith, marriage, parenting, fear, anger, shame, grief, and hope. We are speaking into the places where people are often most confused, exposed, ashamed, defensive, or discouraged.

That requires more than confidence. It requires reverence. This should make us cautious in the best sense: not timid, not fearful, not paralyzed…but reverently careful. We should not be reckless with Scripture, simplistic with suffering, casual with sin, or flippant with the burdens people carry. Biblical counseling should have a holy seriousness to it. A joyful seriousness, yes, but a seriousness. Soul care is not a game, and the church is not ours.

Wolves, Twisted Things, and Counseling Drift

Then Paul gives the warning: “I know that after my departure fierce wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock.” Paul is not guessing. He says, “I know.” The danger is certain. Wolves will come.

That is not exactly the line you put on a church volunteer recruitment card: “Join our ministry team. Wolves are in the waiting.” But Paul says it because he loves them, and love warns, protects, and not pretend danger is unreal in order to sound positive.

Biblical counselors need this category. There are things that harm the flock. And Paul names (approximately) these and others throughout his writing/teaching ministry: false teaching, distorted views, counsel that excuses sin, counsel that crushes the weak, counsel that replaces repentance with self-justification, counsel that offers identity apart from Christ, counsel that trains people to interpret themselves primarily through grievance, victimhood, autonomy, or self-expression – all of these things harms the flock.

We do not need to be suspicious people to be alert people. There is a difference. Suspicion sees danger everywhere because it is governed by fear. Alertness sees danger where God says danger exists because it is governed by faithfulness.

Paul’s next warning is even more sobering: “and from among your own selves will arise men speaking twisted things, to draw away the disciples after them.” The danger is not only out there. It can arise from within. That should humble every counseling ministry, church, training center, conference speaker, author, pastor, and counselor.

Twisted things are not always obvious denials of truth. Sometimes they are partial truths bent in the wrong direction, or biblical words filled with unbiblical meaning. Sometimes they are rationalizations and justifications wrapped in Bible verses. Sometimes they are counseling categories that sound compassionate but subtly move people away from repentance, obedience, and worship. Or statements that are technically true, but applied in ways that are harsh, reductionistic, or unwise.

And Paul says the aim is “to draw away the disciples after them.” Distorted ministry often has a negative gravitational pull, and it draws people toward dependency, false admiration (if not outright idolatry), factionalism (tribalism), or loyalty to a personality rather than deeper love for Christ. So we should ask: do people leave our care more impressed with us or more dependent upon Christ? The goal is not to draw disciples after ourselves. The goal is to help disciples follow Jesus.

Admonishing with Tears

Paul concludes this section by saying, “Therefore be alert, remembering that for three years I did not cease night or day to admonish every one with tears.”

Paul does not merely say he admonished. He says he admonished everyone with tears in an ongoing nature. Not occasionally. Not when convenient. But in a pattern of loving commitment.

That matters because biblical counseling has always had a category for admonition. Historically, that has been one of the strengths of biblical counseling. We believe people need loving correction. We believe sin must be named, and repentance matters. We believe counsel that never admonishes is not fully biblical.

But, Acts 20 refuses to let admonition become cold, let alone the exclusive model of help or care. Paul admonished with tears.  It is truth delivered with grief, urgency, affection, and love. It was counsel from someone invested in people. 

If we are eager to admonish but slow to weep, we have not yet learned Paul’s model. The tears matter. They tell us Paul was not detached from the people he corrected. He was not just trying to win, he was pleading for souls! His admonition was not less serious because it was tearful. It was more serious because it was tearful.

Biblical counselors should recover that combination: courage and tenderness, clarity and compassion, warning and weeping.

So, Counselor, Be Alert

Acts 20:28–31 presses several “biblical counseling questions” to us. 

• Are we paying careful attention to ourselves, or only to the people we counsel? 
• Are we treating counselees as blood-bought people or as problems to manage? 
• Are we alert to dangers that harm the flock? 
• Are we humble enough to know that twisted things can arise even from among us? 
• Are we willing to admonish, and are we willing to do so with tears?

Paul’s charge is weighty because the work is weighty. The church belongs to God, and the Spirit appoints shepherds to care for her. So, biblical counselor, pay careful attention to yourself, then, as you do that, pay careful attention to the flock. Guard against pride. Admonish with tears. And remember that the people in front of you are not yours, they belong to Jesus. 

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