Secular Young Men Against Porn

What are the reasons a young man should quit porn?

It depends on who you ask.

If you ask Alex Slater, the reason to quit porn is that “pornography inhibits him from reaching his full potential,” and he can “use that energy toward reaching his full potential.” (World Magazine)

In other words, quit porn because it promotes self-improvement.

Slater’s message has resonated. Slater claims his app, called Quittr, has helped 900,000 men stop using porn. (World Magazine) 

One Christian leader who helps Christian men quit porn noted that there is common grace operating within Slater’s movement. What he means by that is that God provides the “good kindness of God that He shows to all people, regardless of whether they have experienced the salvation that comes through Jesus Christ alone.” (Lambert)

The fact that secular men (probably including professing Christians) are quitting porn is a good thing. There are many good reasons for them to do so.

1. Porn damages personal relationships with real women since it objectifies women. This is contrary to some sociological studies that say porn is normal and the only problem with it is the shame associated with it.
2. Porn use almost always gets worse because what was “normal” at first no longer satisfies, and the user gets sucked into a downward spiral that often is violent and at other times includes child porn.
3. Slater is right about the energy and time used to pursue porn, as the time and energy are best used elsewhere. (World Magazine)

I would ask whether quitting is enough and whether anyone relapses. In other words, is it change that sticks?

The Bible would argue that quitting is not sufficient and relapse is probable.

The Bible has much to say about sexual lust.

Sexual Lust is an overflow of the heart (Matthew 5:27-28)

We are commanded to abstain from sexual lust (1 Thess. 4:1-8)

Sexual Perversion is the fruit of rebellion against God (Rom. 1:18-27)

The consequences of sexual sin is death. (Proverbs 5:3-5; 7:24-27) 

Many more passages could be cited.

Despite the warnings and consequences of porn use, many Christian men do not seem able to break the habit. The primary reason for this is the lack of heart change. Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:27-28 that the core of the problem lies with the human heart.

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; 28 but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matt. 5:27-28  Legacy Standard Bible)

Jesus raises the bar from the physical act of adultery to say that adultery has already been committed in the heart/mind when a man looks at a woman with lustful intent. Our problems are more complicated than the “don’ts” of Scripture.

Jesus goes on to say that radical measures must be taken toward heart change to defeat porn.

“But if your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into ^bhell. 

30 “And if your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to go into ^bhell. (Matt. 5:29:30,  Legacy Standard Bible)

The first step toward repentance is committing to do what it takes to repent and break the habit.

Accountability and removing temptation via blocking software are not the same as heart change, because those steps are fences, and fences can be gotten over or dug under. Fences, however, can be the beginning of heart change as the person recognizes that radical amputation is part of genuine repentance.

The key to heart change is found in James. 

 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. ¹⁵ Then desire when it has conceived, gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is fully grown brings forth death. Ja. 1:14-15

Verse 14 gets to the root of the problem. We are lured and enticed by something that looks good to us, so we desire it. Some translations clarify that desire means an evil desire, and that is accurate, since not all desires are evil.

For the heart to change, repentance has to start with one’s own evil desires. It must be recognized that the desire itself is sin and that Godly sorrow (2 Cor. 7:9-10) must be a significant part of the repentance as well as turning away from the temptation. A person must think about sin the way God does in order to repent.

Verse 15 explains the progression from evil desire to conception, to birth, or the acting out of the evil desire. The process leads to spiritual death unless repented of from the heart.

Proverbs 4:23 tells us that the heart must be guarded with diligence because from the heart flow all the thoughts, words, and choices of a person’s life. (see Mark. 7:21-23; Luke 6:45)

Watch over your heart with all diligence, 

For from it flow the springs of life.

 (Pr 4:23, NASB).

It is beyond the scope of this blog entry to detail how to enable heart change. For a detailed process of heart change, see Julie Ganschow and Bruce Roeder’s The Process of Biblical Heart Change.

Works Cited

Asher, Marshal, and Mary Asher. The Christian’s Guide to Psychological Terms. Focus Publishing, 2014.

Lambert, Heath. A Theology of Biblical Counseling. Grand Rapids, Zondervan, 2016.

Lambert, Heath. A Theology of Biblical Counseling. Grand Rapids, Zondervan, 2016.World Magazine. Positive Energy. World Magazine, December 2025.

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