Part 1 in a Study of Acts 20:18–38

As I have alluded to in other pieces, I serve as a pastor in a wonderful local church. Something I probably have not mentioned as often is that I also serve on our preaching team. We are generally an expository church, so we regularly work through books of the Bible. At present, we are preaching through Acts. And, in God’s kindness to me, I was the one assigned to preach Acts 20.

As I studied it, the chapter stood out to me for a number of reasons. But for the purposes of this short series, it was the end of the chapter that gripped me most, both as a pastor and as a biblical counselor. Acts 20:18–38 is Paul’s farewell address to the Ephesian elders. It is not casual. It is not theoretical. It is not sanitized ministry reflection. It is a shepherd speaking to shepherds, knowing this may be the last time they see his face.

And that makes it deeply relevant for those of us who counsel biblically.

“You yourselves know how I lived among you the whole time from the first day that I set foot in Asia, serving the Lord with all humility and with tears and with trials that happened to me through the plots of the Jews; how I did not shrink from declaring to you anything that was profitable, and teaching you in public and from house to house, testifying both to Jews and to Greeks of repentance toward God and of faith in our Lord Jesus Christ.”

Before Paul reminds them what he taught, he reminds them how he lived. That order matters.

Paul does not begin with his method, giftedness, influence, number of converts, churches planted, sermons preached, or opponents answered. He begins with his conduct: “You yourselves know how I lived among you…” For those of us who counsel biblically, whether formally in a counseling room, pastorally in the church, conversationally across a table, or relationally in the normal one-another life of the body of Christ, this is a searching place to begin.

Paul places his life on the table.

Paul as a Human Measure

Now, to be clear, Paul is not Jesus. Paul is not our sinless Savior, perfect substitute, or final standard of righteousness. Paul needed the grace of God just as desperately as we do. He was a man. He had a human body that grew tired, a mind that felt pressure, relationships that grieved him, enemies that plotted against him, and weaknesses that kept him dependent on the Lord.

Paul was not above the battle with sin and human frailty. He was in it.

And yet, precisely because Paul was a man, his example is especially helpful to us. He gives us a redeemed, Spirit-empowered, ministry-burdened human example of faithfulness in the ordinary pressures of real life. That is why Paul can say elsewhere, “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ” (1 Cor. 11:1). Not because Paul is ultimate, but because Paul is measurable.

That is part of why Paul has been such a fruitful model for biblical counseling. Resources like Paul the Counselor have rightly recognized that the apostle’s ministry gives us more than doctrine in the abstract. It gives us a living pattern of counseling, disciple-making, warning, encouraging, teaching, correcting, suffering, praying, and loving real people with biblical truth.

Acts 20 shows us this clearly. Paul pastored, discipled, admonished, and taught publicly. He also ministered “from house to house.” In that sense, Paul counseled. Not in the modern professionalized sense, of course. He was not scheduling fifty-minute appointments with intake forms, homework sheets, and a very official-looking clipboard. But he was doing Word-centered, soul-directed, personally applied ministry among God’s people. He helped people understand themselves, their sin, their suffering, their responsibilities, and their hope before God.

That is biblical counseling in seed form. And his first appeal is not, “You know my counseling model.” It is, “You know my life.”

The Counselor’s Life Is Part of the Counsel

This is a needed corrective for us.

Biblical counselors can become highly skilled at evaluating others. We learn to ask good questions. We listen for patterns of fear, anger, despair, guilt, bitterness, envy, lust, self-protection, and unbelief. We learn to connect life’s problems to biblical categories. We assign passages, recommend practical life changes, and call for repentance and faith.

Those are good things. Necessary things, even.

But Acts 20 asks a prior question: can the people we counsel point to our manner of life as a credible witness to the truth we give them?

Paul says, “You yourselves know how I lived among you the whole time…” Not for a weekend. Not from a platform. Not in a curated environment. Not as a distant expert. Among them. The whole time. From the first day.

This does not mean biblical counselors must be perfect before they can counsel. If that were true, counseling ministry would be very simple: Jesus could do it, and the rest of us could quietly sit down. But it does mean biblical counselors must be watchful. We cannot take seriously the sanctification of others while casually neglecting the renewal of our own minds and conduct.

The counselor who calls others to humility must be pursuing humility. The counselor who calls others to repent must be repenting. The counselor who calls others to trust God in suffering must be learning to trust God in suffering. The counselor who speaks of grace must not be harsh, self-righteous, or cold. The counselor who calls people to the Word must not be personally thin in the Word.

The counselor’s life is not separate from the counselor’s ministry. In Acts 20, Paul treats his life as part of his testimony. That should sober us.

Serving the Lord with Humility, Tears, and Trials

Paul describes his ministry conduct in verse 19 as “serving the Lord with all humility and with tears and with trials.” That phrase gives us several necessary categories for biblical counseling.

First, Paul was “serving the Lord.” We serve people, yes. We listen, love, help, bear burdens, and patiently walk with others. But ultimately, we serve Christ. That protects us from people-pleasing, because the counselee is not Lord. It also protects us from harshness, because we are not Lord. We counsel under the authority of Christ, for the glory of Christ, according to the Word of Christ, in dependence upon the Spirit of Christ.

Second, Paul served “with all humility.” Biblical counseling requires real humility – the kind that knows we are not the Savior, acknowledges blind spots, receives correction, and does not need to win every exchange. A proud biblical counselor is a contradiction in terms. We do not treat counselees as projects to fix, but as people to love.

Third, Paul served “with tears and with trials.” He was not emotionally detached from the people he helped. He did not confuse faithfulness with coldness. He gave truth with tears, doctrine with affection, correction with grief, and admonition with love. And he continued through hardship.

That matters because biblical counseling is rarely clean work. Sin is deceitful. Suffering is heavy. Marriages do not heal overnight. Fear, bitterness, shame, and despair often have long histories. Biblical counselors need more than answers. We need endurance.

“I Did Not Shrink”

Then Paul says in verse 20, “I did not shrink from declaring to you anything that was profitable.”

That sentence should land heavily on every biblical counselor. Paul did not pull back. He did not avoid what needed to be said because it was uncomfortable, costly, or likely to be misunderstood. He loved them too much to give them only what was easy.

But notice what Paul says: he declared what was “profitable.” He does not say, “I said everything that came to my mind,” or “I unloaded every truth I knew.” He says he declared what was profitable.

Biblical counselors need both sides of that conviction. We must not shrink from saying what Scripture says, and we must labor to say what is spiritually profitable for the person in front of us. There is such a thing as courageous counsel. There is also such a thing as careless bluntness wearing courage’s clothes. Paul gives us neither cowardice nor recklessness. He gives us profitable truth delivered faithfully.

This is where biblical counselors must recover confidence in the usefulness of Scripture. The Bible is not merely true in an abstract way. It is profitable. Paul says in 2 Timothy 3:16–17 that Scripture is profitable for teaching, reproof, correction, and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.

That is not a small claim, and it is not one we should be embarrassed to make.

God’s Word is profitable for the actual problems of actual people. It teaches truth, reproves error, corrects what is disordered, trains us in righteousness, exposes sin, comforts suffering, renews the mind, gives wisdom, announces grace, proclaims Christ, and calls us to repentance and faith.

Biblical counselors must not treat the Bible as though it becomes relevant only after we have exhausted better tools. Nor should we use Scripture as decorative support for categories formed without it. If Scripture is profitable, then we must bring it to bear courageously, wisely, patiently, and specifically.

Publicly and House to House

Paul continues by saying he taught them “in public and from house to house.” That phrase gives us an important picture of ministry. Paul’s teaching was both public and personal. There was proclamation, but there was also personal application. There was gathered teaching, but there was also close-up care.

Biblical counseling belongs in that space. It is not detached from the preaching ministry of the church, nor is it an alternative ministry of the Word. It is the Word brought near to particular people in particular moments with particular burdens, sins, questions, and responsibilities.

Public teaching gives the church the categories of truth. House-to-house ministry helps people live those truths in the details. A church needs both. If biblical counseling becomes disconnected from the public teaching of the church, it can become individualized, narrow, and overly problem-centered. But if public teaching is never carried into the living rooms, marriages, fears, habits, griefs, and temptations of actual people, then truth remains general when it should become lovingly specific.

Paul did both. So should we.

Repentance Toward God and Faith in Christ

Finally, Paul summarizes the center of his message: “testifying both to Jews and to Greeks of repentance toward God and of faith in our Lord Jesus Christ.”

This is the center of biblical counseling: repentance toward God and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

Biblical counseling is not merely helping people feel better, communicate better, choose better, sleep better, schedule better, or cope better. Those things may matter. They may even be part of wise care. But they are not the center. The center is Godward repentance and Christward faith.

This means biblical counseling must always be more than behavior modification. We are not merely trying to get angry people to sound nicer, anxious people to feel calmer, husbands and wives to fight less, or suffering people to endure more quietly. We are helping people live before God.

That means turning from sin where sin is present, from false worship where idols have taken root, from lies where the mind has been trained by untruth, and from self-rule, self-protection, self-pity, and self-sufficiency. And it means turning to Christ: trusting His grace, resting in His finished work, submitting to His Word, depending on His Spirit, and following Him in ordinary obedience.

Paul’s message was not vague spirituality, moralism, or therapeutic optimism. It was repentance toward God and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. That must remain the bloodstream of biblical counseling.

Acts 20:18–21 leaves us with a needed question: If the people we counsel were asked to summarize our ministry, would they be able to say anything like what Paul said?

Not perfectly, of course. Paul was not the Savior. But he followed the Savior. And in Acts 20, he gives biblical counselors a model worth considering.

Before we ask whether our counselees are listening to us, we need to ask whether our lives are worth watching. Before we ask whether they are changing, we need to ask whether we are faithfully embodying the truth we commend. Before we ask whether they believe Scripture is profitable, we need to ask whether we believe it enough to bring it courageously, specifically, and lovingly into the room.

Counselor, they should know how you live. And they should know that you did not shrink.

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