Part 4 in a Study of Acts 20:18–38

If you’re just joining us, this part 4 in a series on Acts 20:18-38. Check out the first 3 parts of our series here! 

As we get to Acts 20:32–35, Paul begins the final handoff to his elder-partners. He has reminded these Ephesians brothers, after 3 years of ministry among them, of his life, message, mission, their responsibility, the value of the church body, and the reality of the dangers they face. Now, as Paul prepares for his (knowing) final departure, he does something every biblical counselor must learn to do: he commends them to God.

Paul says:

“And now I commend you to God and to the word of his grace, which is able to build you up and to give you the inheritance among all those who are sanctified. I coveted no one’s silver or gold or apparel. You yourselves know that these hands ministered to my necessities and to those who were with me. In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ ”

That is a remarkable conclusion, and a perspective well-worth considering. Paul is saying his final confidence is not in these elders, their gifts, their training, courage, or their memory of his example (a potential pitfall given he has used his example as a metric throughout this discourse). Paul says he is leaving, but God is not; his physical presence will be gone, but the Word will keep building. That matters for biblical counselors because all faithful counseling must eventually learn to say: I am not enough for this person (be it counselee or fellow counselor), but God is.

I Commend You to God

Paul’s words are simple: “And now I commend you to God…” This is active theological confidence. Paul entrusts these elders and the Ephesian church to the God who called them, saved them, sanctifies them, and will keep them. Paul is releasing them into the hands of the One who never leaves despite the fact that his time with them is over.

Biblical counselors need this category because we can be tempted to carry people (be it fellow counselors, counselors in training, or counselees) in ways only God can. We want counselees to repent, reconcile, endure, grow, think biblically, and walk faithfully. But if we are not careful, a good desire to help can quietly become an unhealthy attempt to control. We can start measuring our worth by someone else’s progress, or our faithfulness by whether the counselee responds the way we hoped.

We want fellow counselors or fellow pastors to be able to thrive…but if we are not careful, we don’t release them to thrive because we linger too long in a space, and stunt their growth. 

That is a heavy way to live, and it eventually bends us in unhelpful directions. Some counselors become anxious and over-involved, while others become frustrated, harsh, self-protective, or detached. Others become overly flattered when counseling goes well and overly crushed when it does not. None of those are the fruit of properly commending people to God. 

Biblical counselor, we must help people faithfully, but we cannot be their God. That job is taken. Happily, so.

To commend someone to God is to remember that the Lord loves His people more than we do, understands them more accurately than we can, and is able to work in places our words cannot reach. That does not make our work unnecessary. It makes our work sane.

The Word of His Grace Is Able

Paul also commends them “to the word of his grace.” This is consistent with everything Paul has already said. He did not shrink from declaring what was profitable, nor from declaring the whole counsel of God. Now, he says that same Word is able to build them up.

That is the counselor’s confidence. The Word of God is not merely correct; it is constructive. It builds, strengthens, renews the mind, reorders desires, exposes sin, comforts suffering, and trains God’s people in righteousness. And notice that Paul specifically calls it “the word of his grace.” The Word does not build by mere information transfer or external pressure. It builds as the revelation of God’s grace in Christ is understood, believed, applied, and lived.

This should keep biblical counseling from becoming either shallow or harsh. If we detach the Word from grace, counseling can become moral pressure with Bible verses attached. But if we detach grace from the Word, counseling can become sentimental encouragement without divine authority. Paul gives us both: the Word of His grace.

In counseling, this means we do not merely give people passages to read; we help them understand how God’s truth meets them, corrects them, strengthens them, and calls them forward. We do not use Scripture as a decorative quote at the end of a conversation mostly driven by other categories, nor do we swing verses around like a theological hammer, hoping force will substitute for wisdom. We bring the Word of grace carefully, courageously, and specifically because God uses His Word to build His people.

In training, it means we equip the next generation of leaders, as Paul did here, with the information they need to do as we have done. We provide feedback for growth. And then consistently point them back to the Word of Grace for themselves as the place, they find grace, live a life of integrity, and then challenge those under their shepherding to do the same.

Paul says the Word of grace is able “to build you up and to give you the inheritance among all those who are sanctified.” That sentence is full of hope. Paul is speaking to elders who will face danger, wolves, internal distortion, personal weakness, and the absence of his ongoing presence. And yet, Paul was far from hopeless. 

Wolves are coming, and the Word is able. Twisted things will arise, and the Word is able. Paul is leaving, and the Word is able. That is not naïve optimism. That is biblical confidence.

Biblical counseling must keep this hopeful realism. We should be realistic about sin, suffering, patterns, consequences, and the difficulty of change. Some problems are deeply entrenched, some thought patterns have been rehearsed for years, and some sins have become practiced pathways of escape, control, or comfort. If we pretend change is always quick and simple, we will discourage people by our shallowness. But if we forget that God and His Word are able, we will discourage them by our unbelief.

Not Covetous, but Hardworking

Then Paul turns to his own example again: “I coveted no one’s silver or gold or apparel. You yourselves know that these hands ministered to my necessities and to those who were with me.” At first, this may feel like a strange move. We go from the Word of grace and eternal inheritance to Paul saying, in essence, “I did not want your stuff, and I worked with my hands.”

But this is not random. Paul is again putting his life on the table. He reminds them that his ministry was not marked by greed, manipulation, entitlement, or self-enrichment. He did not use people for personal gain, nor did he treat ministry as a mechanism for getting his needs met. Instead, he worked hard to provide for himself and others.

Biblical counselors should consider this carefully. Most biblical counselors are not getting rich from counseling, which may be the understatement of the article. But money is not the only form of coveting. We can covet appreciation, influence, control, dependence, admiration, affirmation, or the reputation of being unusually wise. We can want people to need us in ways that are not spiritually healthy, and we can become subtly possessive of counselees, as though their growth validates us or their struggle reflects poorly on us.

Paul’s example confronts that. Faithful ministry does not use people to satisfy the minister’s desires. Paul did not see the Ephesian believers as a means of gaining wealth, status, comfort, or identity. He loved them enough to labor for their good. Counseling must be similarly free from selfish ambition. We do not counsel to build a name, create a following, or become someone’s functional savior. We counsel as servants of Christ, seeking the good of blood-bought people.

We Must Help the Weak

Paul then gives the principle: “In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak.” There is a sentence biblical counselors should not rush past: we must help the weak. Not merely correct the wrong, confront the rebellious, or organize the confused. Help the weak.

Biblical counseling certainly includes admonition; Paul has already made that clear. But biblical counseling is not less biblical when it is gentle with weakness. Some people need correction. Some need comfort. Most need some wise combination of both. The bruised reed and the hardened sinner do not need identical tones, even if both need the same Christ.

Helping the weak requires work. It takes time, patience, prayer, careful listening, repeated instruction, and sometimes the willingness to walk slowly with someone whose growth feels painfully incremental. That can be hard for counselors who like clean categories and quick progress. It can also be hard for those of us who secretly prefer “fixing” to helping, because helping the weak often feels less efficient and more costly.

But Paul says we work hard in order to help. That means biblical counseling should have the smell of labor on it. Not frantic labor or savior-complex labor, but real labor: the kind that studies carefully, prays earnestly, listens patiently, speaks thoughtfully, follows up wisely, and refuses to treat slow growth as an inconvenience.

Finally, Paul reminds them of the words of Jesus: “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” That statement beautifully summarizes Paul’s ministry posture. He gave truth, time, labor, tears, warning, affection, and example. He was not extracting from the flock; he was pouring himself out for their good. Biblical counseling must have that same giving posture. We give the Word of grace, patient attention, careful correction, encouragement, prayer, time, and thoughtful counsel without making people pay us back emotionally. We give without needing to be constantly affirmed because Christ has given Himself for us, and because His way of blessing runs opposite the instincts of the flesh.

That does not mean counselors should have no boundaries, never rest, or say yes to everything. Paul himself was leaving Ephesus, after all, not staying forever because everyone wanted him to. But it does mean our posture should be fundamentally generous rather than extractive. We are not takers with Bible knowledge. We are servants entrusted with grace.

So, Counselor, Commend Them to God

Acts 20:32–35 presses several questions to us. 

• Are we trying to carry what only God can carry? 
• Do we really believe the Word of His grace is able to build people up? 
• Are we free from using counselees to satisfy our own desire for affirmation, control, or importance? 
• Are we willing to work hard to help the weak, not merely correct the wrong? 
• Are we giving in the spirit of Christ, or subtly counseling in order to receive?

Paul’s final handoff is deeply instructive. He does not commend the elders to his memory, method, personality, or ongoing availability. He commends them to God and to the Word of His grace. He reminds them that ministry must be free from covetousness, marked by hard work, aimed at helping the weak, and shaped by the words of Jesus.

Biblical counselor, you are not enough for the people you counsel. That is not bad news; it is sanity. God is enough. His Word is able. Grace builds what we cannot. So work hard, help the weak, give more than you seek to receive, and then entrust people to the God who loves them more wisely and faithfully than you ever could.

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